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Tag: god

  • Deprogramming Religious Indoctrination: How Do You Handle the Fear of Finding Yourself Spiritually?

    Deprogramming Religious Indoctrination: How Do You Handle the Fear of Finding Yourself Spiritually?

    Ever heard this one: “You’re going to be judged.  Your soul will be damned for all eternity.”  Owning a metaphysical shop with my wife, yes, I have heard this a few times.  Just a few weeks ago, as a matter of fact.  The lady came into our store and proceeded to repeat how we were to be judged and how Jesus was the only way to salvation.  Our souls would be damned, and we’d spend eternity in hell.  So, I politely explained my beliefs and pointed out what I believe to be some of the fallacies behind her beliefs.  My wife did the same. She had quite some difficulty deflecting our points and I could easily do a whole blog on those alone. While everyone is welcome, we do expect to get the same respect we give every individual who walks in our door.  Our philosophy is whatever gives you inner peace, so long as it doesn’t harm others, is great!

    After she left, I took some time to reflect on what it was like to fear damnation when I was a young Catholic school kid. Starting at a young age, I was indoctrinated into believing certain things as indisputable truths. If I didn’t do this, I was going to hell.  If I did that, I’ll be eternally damned. If I thought the wrong things, I’d swim in a river of fire forever. I feared this until I started reading all manner of books around the age of 9. Over the next couple of years, I absorbed information that the Catholic church did not want me to consider. By age 13, I could not reconcile two points:

    Exodus 20:3 and Deuteronomy 5:6: “Thou shalt have no other gods before me.”

    First, the god of the old testament was a vengeful, wrathful god who flooded the Earth to kill most life, demanded human sacrifice, complete obedience & bended knee worship. The god of the New Testament was the polar opposite. 

    Matthew 5:44: “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”.

    I had to ask the priest at St. Augustines, “Is god bipolar?”  All I got was a frown and a “No.”  Turns out that ‘no’ from Father Smith was like my parents saying, ‘Because I told you so’.  It wasn’t enough to stop my logical examination of catholic doctrine.  I thought, ‘Maybe it’s like the Gnostics believed and they are two different gods.’  But that’s for another blog.

    The second point is the belief that the only way to heaven is through Jesus, accepting him as my lord and savior. So, if I’m wrong or just stupid, if I don’t accept this dogma, I’m going to hell even if I led a pretty good life, doing my best and helping others?  But a serial killer could be the worst of the worst ‘sinner’ and as long as he accepts Jesus as his lord and savior before he kicks the bucket, he gets to sit at the right hand of god….while dumb me burns. I thought he loved all his children?  Again, that is for another blog…

    So, what happens when you figure out organized religion just isn’t for you?  Do you tell family?  Friends? Stop participating in family & community rituals that are religious-centric? Or do you keep quiet and go through the motions?  You must consider what is best for you, but my feeling is that to live a masquerade is not to live at all.  However, if you tell a devoutly religious parent or friend that you no longer believe as they do, you have to be prepared to lose them either briefly or possibly forever. You cannot discount anything where such deeply ingrained beliefs are factors. I lost what I considered to be a brother in such a circumstance.

    My best friend for nearly 30 years, the kind of friend who I called ‘brother’, walked away because of his wife. She is a militant Catholic. If this were the Middle Ages, she’d be a butcher, leading crusades or drowning midwives & healers as witches in medieval Europe. She met Kristi, the amazing woman who became my wife, and she raved about her.  A few months later during a visit, she walked into Kristi’s altar room and saw a statue of Baphomet. As most of us know, Baphomet is NOT ‘the devil’ or ‘evil’, but a symbol of balance, just like Yin/Yang.  But she saw ‘the devil!’ and the spiral began.

    She paid to talk to her priest who told her to break off all ties because the priest had been exposed to witchcraft prior, and he said ‘it is evil.’  But to be fair, let’s not forget that a priest’s job is to keep buns in seats and tithing coming in for the vastly overly rich Vatican (sorry to the level-headed Catholics out there).  His advice, combined with her claim that our cat had twisted its paws unnaturally under our guest bedroom door while trying to get in, caused her to sever all ties.  My friend placated her delusions rather than addressing the lunacy, which led to him and me calling it quits. He chose to indulge his wife.  I chose to stand behind mine. Turns out, neither he nor his wife were good people. I thought back and recognized that neither one of them had great ethics and at many turns, had screwed others over if it suited them. I’d just not seen it before. Now that I do, I recognize that everything happens as it should.  I gained from the experience.  They lost someone who was always there for them.

    I’ve touched on fear of loss of relationships.  But what about overcoming the fear that’s been indoctrinated into us for years? If someone had a deeply religious upbringing, leaving that dogma has got to be somewhat difficult.  The outward decision to leave it can be easy, but there could be residual thoughts and emotions surfacing from time to time.

    ‘What if I’m wrong?  Will I go to hell?’

    Well, that’s certainly something to ponder. But if ‘god loves all his children’ as we were taught, then wouldn’t he love even children who didn’t believe in him?  Would he really cast his children into the eternal inferno simply for not knowing him? Would a parent of five ignore the one severely special needs child in favor of the other four simply because they comprehend that he/she is the parent? If that parent were the god of the old testament, they probably would…

    The bottom line is this: if you were indoctrinated into a religious community at an early age, you never developed ‘faith but simply believed what those around you told you.  How long would someone believe in Santa if they were not explicitly told the truth and presents still appeared? However, the difference between Santa & religion is that religion requires blind faith. Faith given to you by others that coincidentally (or not), is explicit that obedience and conformity are required and expected.  Spirituality cultivates belief based on YOUR experiences. Your truth is not necessarily my truth, but both are truths none-the-less.  That concept can be tricky, but each of us walks a unique spiritual path, developing our own beliefs.  Anyone who tells you that their path or belief is the ONLY correct way misses the point of spirituality.

    A great analogy:

    Religion tells you what food to eat, when to eat it, and how to eat it.

    Spirituality tells you to try new foods regularly, eat when you feel hungry, and eat with whatever feels right to you.

    So, remember that when that early indoctrination creeps back into your mind that you have two choices:

    1. Give in and conform to a dogma used by man to control populations, subjugate women, and build wealth & power

      -or-
    2. Acknowledge you were indoctrinated and the path you are on is one of freedom and self-exploration without boundaries, barriers, or limitations

    Now go eat spaghetti with bottarga….at 3:33am….with your fingers.

    Note: It may seem I am picking on the catholic church.  It’s not intentional.  It’s just my personal frame of reference in experiencing extremism within an organized religion.  Not all catholics are like the individuals I wrote about above, so please don’t think I’m classifying them as such.  Like anything in life, balance is key. 

  • What is the difference between Religion and Spirituality?

    ‘Dream of Peace’ – Original Art by Jeannine Midkiff

    'Dream of Peace' by Jeannine Midkiff

    When I’ve heard someone asked what church they attend, I’d sometimes hear “Well, I don’t go to church.  I’m spiritual.”  I thought ‘isn’t that the same thing?’  Well, turns out, not necessarily…

    Disclaimer: In a limited format, there is no way to completely cover all the examples and meanings of spirituality or religious beliefs, so let’s start with a general working definition of each as a general guide:

    Religion: A range of social-cultural systems, including designated behaviors and practices, morals, beliefs, worldviews, texts, sanctified places, prophecies, ethics, or organizations, that generally relate humanity to supernatural, transcendental, and spiritual elements

    Spirituality: Spirituality can be defined generally as an individual’s search for ultimate or sacred meaning, and purpose in life.   Additionally, it can mean to seek out or search for personal growth, religious experience, belief in a supernatural realm or afterlife, or to make sense of one’s own “inner dimension”.

    Let’s start with a key difference that really stands out.  Religion, be it Christianity, Islam, Wicca, or other tend to be collective.  That is, there are cultural elements that drive groups of individuals to come together and share beliefs related to that religion’s core teachings. There are established norms and rules that participants are expected to follow in one’s expression of faith. This can take many forms depending on the religion and the many denominations within that religion. This is quite different than spirituality.

    Spirituality is more about ‘self’.  To be spiritual, one must find purpose in their own existence. It’s less about culture and more about growth and connection with nature and the universe.  It’s also about walking one’s own path, finding balance and meaning as an individual and not with rules as part of a larger group. Being spiritual is not a destination, but a continuing journey. One can be part of an organized religion and be very spiritual, but that usually means accepting the core norms and teachings of the religion while also seeking a higher state of consciousness. However, achieving that higher state may eventually become at odds with the teachings of the religion.

    Religions teach us what to believe, how to worship, and what our rewards are for participation and faith.  Spirituality, being an individual journey, offers much less teaching since it is different for every individual.  The reward is the journey, which is a continuous higher state of awareness of the universe and the individual’s place in it.  The rewards are less defined, less tangible, and defined by the journey of the seeker.

    Many religions have a specific deity they worship, an ultimate creator of all things (monotheism – belief in one god). Some believe their deity guides their lives and the happenings of the world, perhaps as tests (“God has a plan”).  Others believe free will and chance are why things occur the way they do and their deity is an observer, holding humanity accountable for their own actions in the afterlife. A religious but spiritual person many view a part of their journey as understanding the ‘why’ things happen in this context.

    Spiritual people often believe in many deities (polytheism – belief in more than one god) and/or that nature and the universe is connected to all things.  These beliefs existed well before the rise of organized religions and exist today, often referred to as modern Paganism. Loosely defined, Paganism is not belonging to any organized religion.

    Seeking inner peace and tranquility for oneself can come in many forms. Pursuing it through spiritualism, religion, or a combination of both, is meaningful so long as one acknowledges that each path is up to the individual. Respecting each other’s beliefs is essential to achieving inner peace. Judging others requires energy that inhibits one’s own quest for enlightenment. Use your energy wisely.