In my last post (Meditation: Where to Begin?), I mentioned that calming the mind can be quite a challenge. It was my greatest challenge and caused me to doubt I’d ever reach a point where I could slow my brain down enough to advance spiritually. Many things can be a factor, such as ADHD, OCD, being extremely busy with lots of current responsibilities, or perhaps being beholden to social media! But another possible reason is the way we ‘see’ ourselves. After all, we’re only as good as our last f@ckup, right?
Life is full of mistakes, errors in judgment, and often, consequences. You would think that consequences would be the capital that pays the price for the error, but we often put ourselves through a more brutal punishment, our never-ending self-judgment. Some of us spend a lifetime lamenting ‘that thing we did way back when.’ And that self-deprecating will keep us from becoming the centered spiritual beings we desire. This is where Shadow Work comes in.
Shadow Work forces us to look into the darkest corners of our minds to deal with the things in our past that we try to bury. These may be one or two significant events or many minor events. They could have severe consequences or be very minor. They could be impulses or desires we never acted on but still plague our thoughts. Nonetheless, they may become incredibly debilitating to our psyche and lead to depression and anxiety. The bottom line is that once our perception of self-worth takes a dive, without doing some serious Shadow Work, we set ourselves up to plunge deeper into our own personal darkness.
Shadow Work differs for everyone, but so is the degree of success or failure. There’s not a ‘right way’ to do it. You must find what works for you. I prefer to take a guided approach, much like meditation. My Shadow Work began in 2022 as my desire to pursue my spiritual awakening grew stronger. My wife did it alone on a beach in Galveston, TX. She read things like the works of Buddha, examined her life with a microscope, and eventually identified the things she had to let go of, either to forgive herself or forgive people/things that had caused her pain. She could move on with a truly spiritual life, finding inner peace and harmonious balance. That wouldn’t work for me, the overthinker who couldn’t even meditate until recently!
I found The Shadow Work Journal & Workbook by Noah Geller to get started. However, you can use whatever calls to you. I found the guided workbook portion with consistent journaling goals precisely what I needed. The questions reminded me of situations, decisions, and hurt I had caused myself (or others) over my lifetime. The journaling portion forced me to address the incidents, how I felt about them, and how they made me think about myself. Now, this was not fun. However, once I had light shining in every dark corner, I could start to forgive myself and put those chapters to rest. I finally understood that how someone treated me, the mistakes I made with others, and the poor judgment my young mind exhibited don’t mean a damn thing when seeking harmony and enlightenment. The workbook also asked questions that reminded me of my successes and positive aspects of my life, so it didn’t need to be all doom and gloom. Balance was needed.
We need not be defined by our past but by what we do from this moment on. Every day is a new opportunity to become a better version of ourselves. To do so, we must let go of the things that haunt us.
The funny thing is, once you achieve balance, it’s significantly more challenging for anything to impact your peace and balance negatively. This is because you RECOGNIZE it for what it is in the moment. You see those patterns forming in your brain. This lets you often stop them cold and kick them to the curb. So, besides peace and balance, those who earnestly take on Shadow Work find STRENGTH.
Good luck, and remember that you are who you become, not who you were.
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