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Tag: balance

  • Can a Broken Man Find His Spiritual Self?

    Can a Broken Man Find His Spiritual Self?

    I once told someone I was ‘broken’.  They said I was ‘just cracked.’  Little did they know. 

    I’ve had a lifetime of disappointments, little and large.  I’ve had a lifetime of being let down by people, including acquaintances, friends, ‘good’ friends, and yes, even family.  Let-downs can be deliberate deceptions, little lies that add up way too quickly, deceptions in shared values, broken promises, or cheating, to add some context.  Given that, before we proceed, I believe it’s essential to provide my definition of ‘broken,’ as it can have different meanings for various individuals.  What makes one person feel broken may not even phase another.  Or perhaps the experiences that made one feel broken don’t compare on the cosmic scale with the events that broke another.  However, keep in mind that this is not a competition.  Our feelings are ours, and they are neither elevated nor diminished when compared to others.

    Broken, as I define it, means ‘beyond repair.’  That is, someone who will never be the same person they were prior.  This can manifest in many ways, including their overall demeanor, a lack of trust in others, building unscalable/unbreakable walls, or simply accepting that fate has given them lemons but left no way to squeeze them into lemonade.  So, life becomes about sucking on lemons and accepting it.  The natural progression is falling deeper into a pit of despair that has no ladder out.  It becomes about how best to survive with what you have.  Men often refer to this as ‘living a life of quiet desperation.’  Men are not typically encouraged to discuss their feelings.  We are expected to be stoic and strong.  If we do slip up and let it out to the wrong person, we become emasculated, which leads to more profound despair as there’s little chance of repairing that fuck-up.  Men typically don’t share feelings with their buddies, which is out of respect because we know they are likely already broken too.  We don’t usually burden each other with the deep shit.  So, if that’s the case, HOW can we overcome this and find a spiritual center?

    So now you want to take all those broken pieces and put a little glue on them, making yourself whole again, right?  That sounds reasonable and like a good plan, but is it feasible?  If people and events have broken you, what exactly do you do to accomplish this remarkable reassembly?  If events are the most significant cause, you should start with a counselor, but that means expressing feelings, which can feel risky.  Perhaps you remove people, places, and risks from your life.  Well, eliminating people sounds good, but then what happens when the next one(s) come around and dance on your pieces even harder, grinding them into powder?  How about avoiding places that lead to issues or even relocating to a different area?  That changes the players, but not the game.  There are corner bars and other triggers in nearly every town.  As for risk, life always has risks, so eliminating those is tricky at best.  Give up your motorcycle, on which you speed and take chances.  But what if that is the one thing keeping you together?  These destroyers of men are eternal and persistent.  The older we get, the more broken people we meet (Gen Xer alert going off!).

    Knowing we cannot remove these potentially soul-crushing things from life, we need to stop looking at the world around us for solutions and instead focus internally.  Inner peace is not a cliché, and I believe it is attainable (this post will not detail how, but I suggest reading previous posts for some suggestions).  Finding it is of paramount importance, lest those pieces of yourself end up as dust blowing in the wind.

    The hard part is Shadow Work (see previous posts), where you first must acknowledge the mistakes you’ve made and the things you’ve hidden even from yourself, that likely contributed to your breaking.  This is a must, and it is painful.  But once you have acknowledged it and decided that the past is gone and completely irrelevant, you can forgive yourself (but not forget, lest you repeat) and move forward in finding yourself.  Next, take inventory of your successes and good qualities.  Find the strength to celebrate yourself and give yourself credit for those things that are uniquely ‘you.’  This can be daunting, especially if you are depressed, feel trapped by circumstances, or are in relationships that don’t make you happy.  Depression is no joke, but it can be overcome, as can circumstances.  Removing yourself from circumstances may not always be enough and may only bring short-term relief, so finding the part of you that is strong and capable of accepting who you are is key.  Once you’ve accomplished this, THEN you can look toward prevention by setting boundaries and holding yourself accountable for continuing to do the things that brought you back together.  You must be diligent here, as those cracks are still there, and those joints will weaken if you lose yourself again.

    Some things that may be useful include:

    • Meditation – I couldn’t do it until I could – See previous posts for tips
    • Acceptance – Understand the situation and recognize that it will not change, regardless of how much you desire it.  Then decide if removal will work or if changing your thinking may be the better answer.  I’m not going to sugarcoat it. This is fucking hard…
    • Set boundaries and stick with them, even if it initially causes conflict.  You will be surprised (or maybe not) how people react when you do this.  You quickly find out who cares about you versus those who care what you provide or what need you may fill.
    • Do some things for YOU and not just survive for everyone else.  Find a hobby.  Carve out time for reading.  Write a blog geared toward helping others and sharing experiences.  You will not change people, circumstances, or reduce risks by keeping your head down and keeping busy.  Stop daydreaming and find something you know you can do and do it!

    The most important thing you can do is to do SOMETHING.  Good intentions and grand plans lead to ‘would of/could of/should of’, which means… nothing.  Get up, stand up, and accept nothing less of yourself.  YOU own your future, your daily attitude, and ultimately, your inner peace.  Having a solid outlook, inner peace, self-love, and self-forgiveness, while reducing the influence of others and events on your mind and mood, is the way to get yourself back together.  We may never be unbroken, but we can find ways to enjoy those pieces.

    If you are in crisis, help is available. Speak or text with someone today by calling or texting the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7/365

  • Sensory Deprivation – Cleansing Your Senses

    Sensory Deprivation – Cleansing Your Senses

    I recently had an opportunity to try something I’d wanted to experience since I saw Altered States (1980) as a kid.  In the movie, Eddie Jessup (William Hurt), a psychophysiologist, experiments with a sensory-deprivation tank (and a few hallucinogens) and has visions he believes are genetic memories. Now, to be clear (spoiler alert), I did NOT transform into a pre-homo sapiens and wreak havoc in the modern world.  However, the experience was very cool and something I’d do again.

    I went to Wellness Elite Fitness (https://wellnesselitefitness.com/) in Friendswood, Texas, founded by the exceptionally nice and professional Imani Lowery.  This is not your average corner gym or generic chain.  No, this is a wellness center like nothing you’ve probably ever experienced.  Now that I’ve indicated I’m a huge fan, I’ll move on.  But if you are ever in Friendswood, I suggest you check it out.  I would try and persuade Imani to open a location in little Farmville, VA, but I suspect having only 3,000 inhabitants probably wouldn’t make it feasible…

    My session started with a thorough explanation of what to expect, how to engage help if I decided to terminate it early, and what to expect when my hour was over.  I was given a swim cap, but I’d recommend not wearing one since I felt it was a distraction.  I entered the ‘tank’, which was kind of like a giant oval clam and stretched out into a large, slightly above body temperature & highly concentrated tub of salt water.  The high salt content is required to make the water denser, so I would easily float away into total relaxation, no swimmies required.  Once inside, the large lid was closed, leaving me in a very dim (but not dark) chamber.  I could only hear a low, relaxing hum and no outside noise, just the way I like it.  I closed my eyes and began regulating my breathing, ready to enter a meditative state (and hopefully transform into the ‘missing link’ and wreak havoc).  Alas, I retained my large form, but I did feel a transformation of mind and spirit.

    As I drifted into total relaxation, my body touching nothing but water, I began to feel as though I were floating through a darkened sky.  Now, I’ve yet to experience astral projection, but I imagine it must feel something like this sensation.  My normally overthinking mind slowed.  I began to think less but ‘feel’ more.  I started to see images in my mind, sort of like movie clips.  These were all over the place and were like dreams of significant moments in my past, some awesome and some uncomfortable to revisit. What I found interesting was that I was almost indifferent to these memories.  I didn’t become overly stimulated by the good memories, nor did I become upset with the bad memories.  It was like I was reviewing and observing, but not reliving, if that makes sense. 

    I realized after the experience, when I had time to dive into it, that I was letting go of many of those memories.  They were significant to me and likely shaped who I became as a father, husband, businessman, and seeker of spiritual peace.  I feel I was given a rare opportunity to ‘check out’ of the physical world and simply ‘be’.  What this did for me was to help me step forward in my spiritual journey.  For me, that usually happens in a leap after a period of frustrating stagnation.  This was similar to the huge step forward I experienced when I did the energy work I wrote about previously (My Experience with Shamanic Energy Healing). 

    I’m not going to say I had a deep spiritual experience. Still, I will say, given the opportunity for some regularity, I believe I would surely benefit from being able to ‘chill’ my thoughts to such a high degree.  Since this experience, I’ve found my meditations to be easier, not requiring guidance as they usually did prior.

    The attendant called my name and let me know she was about to open the top of the tank.  I was so relaxed, I felt a bit out of it, struggling a little to stand and balance myself.  I had to move slowly or risk tottering over and making a fool of myself.  Then, it was off to the shower to rinse the salt off.  I walked out of Wellness Elite Fitness feeling relaxed, rejuvenated, and with clarity of mind.  I highly recommend the experience and will be looking for something similar here in Virginia.  My quest for total enlightenment continues…

  • Deprogramming Religious Indoctrination: How Do You Handle the Fear of Finding Yourself Spiritually?

    Deprogramming Religious Indoctrination: How Do You Handle the Fear of Finding Yourself Spiritually?

    Ever heard this one: “You’re going to be judged.  Your soul will be damned for all eternity.”  Owning a metaphysical shop with my wife, yes, I have heard this a few times.  Just a few weeks ago, as a matter of fact.  The lady came into our store and proceeded to repeat how we were to be judged and how Jesus was the only way to salvation.  Our souls would be damned, and we’d spend eternity in hell.  So, I politely explained my beliefs and pointed out what I believe to be some of the fallacies behind her beliefs.  My wife did the same. She had quite some difficulty deflecting our points and I could easily do a whole blog on those alone. While everyone is welcome, we do expect to get the same respect we give every individual who walks in our door.  Our philosophy is whatever gives you inner peace, so long as it doesn’t harm others, is great!

    After she left, I took some time to reflect on what it was like to fear damnation when I was a young Catholic school kid. Starting at a young age, I was indoctrinated into believing certain things as indisputable truths. If I didn’t do this, I was going to hell.  If I did that, I’ll be eternally damned. If I thought the wrong things, I’d swim in a river of fire forever. I feared this until I started reading all manner of books around the age of 9. Over the next couple of years, I absorbed information that the Catholic church did not want me to consider. By age 13, I could not reconcile two points:

    Exodus 20:3 and Deuteronomy 5:6: “Thou shalt have no other gods before me.”

    First, the god of the old testament was a vengeful, wrathful god who flooded the Earth to kill most life, demanded human sacrifice, complete obedience & bended knee worship. The god of the New Testament was the polar opposite. 

    Matthew 5:44: “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”.

    I had to ask the priest at St. Augustines, “Is god bipolar?”  All I got was a frown and a “No.”  Turns out that ‘no’ from Father Smith was like my parents saying, ‘Because I told you so’.  It wasn’t enough to stop my logical examination of catholic doctrine.  I thought, ‘Maybe it’s like the Gnostics believed and they are two different gods.’  But that’s for another blog.

    The second point is the belief that the only way to heaven is through Jesus, accepting him as my lord and savior. So, if I’m wrong or just stupid, if I don’t accept this dogma, I’m going to hell even if I led a pretty good life, doing my best and helping others?  But a serial killer could be the worst of the worst ‘sinner’ and as long as he accepts Jesus as his lord and savior before he kicks the bucket, he gets to sit at the right hand of god….while dumb me burns. I thought he loved all his children?  Again, that is for another blog…

    So, what happens when you figure out organized religion just isn’t for you?  Do you tell family?  Friends? Stop participating in family & community rituals that are religious-centric? Or do you keep quiet and go through the motions?  You must consider what is best for you, but my feeling is that to live a masquerade is not to live at all.  However, if you tell a devoutly religious parent or friend that you no longer believe as they do, you have to be prepared to lose them either briefly or possibly forever. You cannot discount anything where such deeply ingrained beliefs are factors. I lost what I considered to be a brother in such a circumstance.

    My best friend for nearly 30 years, the kind of friend who I called ‘brother’, walked away because of his wife. She is a militant Catholic. If this were the Middle Ages, she’d be a butcher, leading crusades or drowning midwives & healers as witches in medieval Europe. She met Kristi, the amazing woman who became my wife, and she raved about her.  A few months later during a visit, she walked into Kristi’s altar room and saw a statue of Baphomet. As most of us know, Baphomet is NOT ‘the devil’ or ‘evil’, but a symbol of balance, just like Yin/Yang.  But she saw ‘the devil!’ and the spiral began.

    She paid to talk to her priest who told her to break off all ties because the priest had been exposed to witchcraft prior, and he said ‘it is evil.’  But to be fair, let’s not forget that a priest’s job is to keep buns in seats and tithing coming in for the vastly overly rich Vatican (sorry to the level-headed Catholics out there).  His advice, combined with her claim that our cat had twisted its paws unnaturally under our guest bedroom door while trying to get in, caused her to sever all ties.  My friend placated her delusions rather than addressing the lunacy, which led to him and me calling it quits. He chose to indulge his wife.  I chose to stand behind mine. Turns out, neither he nor his wife were good people. I thought back and recognized that neither one of them had great ethics and at many turns, had screwed others over if it suited them. I’d just not seen it before. Now that I do, I recognize that everything happens as it should.  I gained from the experience.  They lost someone who was always there for them.

    I’ve touched on fear of loss of relationships.  But what about overcoming the fear that’s been indoctrinated into us for years? If someone had a deeply religious upbringing, leaving that dogma has got to be somewhat difficult.  The outward decision to leave it can be easy, but there could be residual thoughts and emotions surfacing from time to time.

    ‘What if I’m wrong?  Will I go to hell?’

    Well, that’s certainly something to ponder. But if ‘god loves all his children’ as we were taught, then wouldn’t he love even children who didn’t believe in him?  Would he really cast his children into the eternal inferno simply for not knowing him? Would a parent of five ignore the one severely special needs child in favor of the other four simply because they comprehend that he/she is the parent? If that parent were the god of the old testament, they probably would…

    The bottom line is this: if you were indoctrinated into a religious community at an early age, you never developed ‘faith but simply believed what those around you told you.  How long would someone believe in Santa if they were not explicitly told the truth and presents still appeared? However, the difference between Santa & religion is that religion requires blind faith. Faith given to you by others that coincidentally (or not), is explicit that obedience and conformity are required and expected.  Spirituality cultivates belief based on YOUR experiences. Your truth is not necessarily my truth, but both are truths none-the-less.  That concept can be tricky, but each of us walks a unique spiritual path, developing our own beliefs.  Anyone who tells you that their path or belief is the ONLY correct way misses the point of spirituality.

    A great analogy:

    Religion tells you what food to eat, when to eat it, and how to eat it.

    Spirituality tells you to try new foods regularly, eat when you feel hungry, and eat with whatever feels right to you.

    So, remember that when that early indoctrination creeps back into your mind that you have two choices:

    1. Give in and conform to a dogma used by man to control populations, subjugate women, and build wealth & power

      -or-
    2. Acknowledge you were indoctrinated and the path you are on is one of freedom and self-exploration without boundaries, barriers, or limitations

    Now go eat spaghetti with bottarga….at 3:33am….with your fingers.

    Note: It may seem I am picking on the catholic church.  It’s not intentional.  It’s just my personal frame of reference in experiencing extremism within an organized religion.  Not all catholics are like the individuals I wrote about above, so please don’t think I’m classifying them as such.  Like anything in life, balance is key. 

  • Energy & Healing: Beneficial or Bunk?

    Energy & Healing: Beneficial or Bunk?

    So, a year ago, I’d have said that ‘energy’ healing was just a way to sell ‘rocks’ and dupe people into expensive healing sessions.  Or maybe a throwback to hippie culture.  Boy, did I learn a thing or two since then…

    The Law of Conservation of Energy says that energy is neither created nor destroyed.  It just changes form.  Think of Ice => Water => Vapor, then back again.  Science in the last few years was able to measure energy leaving the body.  Religions would call it a soul. Spiritualists would likely call it a spirit.  So if everything, living or not has energy, does that mean that energy can influence people’s physical and emotional well-being? Let’s consider crystals and energy healing as examples.  

    People who buy crystals swear by them.  Amethyst for emotional stability and mental clarity.  Shungite for….you get the picture. My girlfriend (now wife) gave me my first crystal.  Ironically, it was amber for balance, healing, and a sense of calm.  I still don’t know why a type A, overthinking classic Capricorn like me would EVER need balance or calmness (we all have something to heal from).  Turns out, she was right on target.

    How crystals work (or don’t) is up for debate.  Since everything (literally) is made up of atoms that by nature consume and release energy, one could assume that their energy does impact the wearer.  Or maybe it’s a psychological benefit that come with the belief that they work.  I wear several and feel naked without them.  But I cannot tell you how they work for me.  But does it really matter how, if they just work?  I’d say if they bring the wearer some comfort, like a lucky coin, rabbit’s foot, religious idol, etc, then ‘you do you!’  If they work with the wearer’s energy to augment healing, balance, or whatever, then that’s really, really cool too. 

    Twenty years ago, my mother told me she was getting certified to be a Reiki Healer.  My reaction back then was kind of like my initial reaction to crystals….x10.  But then I met an energy worker who doesn’t charge, doesn’t boast about having a great talent and was completely humble regarding her abilities.  I volunteered to be a practice subject because I had no negative energy so it would be an easy session for her.  My wife knew better.

    Turns out, being an old (56) overthinker twice divorced, I may have had a ‘little’ negative energy holding me back from advancing on my spiritual journey.  I’ll go into more detail in a future post, but suffice it to say, I had an ‘interesting’ experience that ultimately led to my long-time stagnant spiritual progress accelerating significantly.  I was even able to meditate afterward and get the benefits meditation can provide.  Honestly, I expected nothing and entered the first session a skeptic, completely full of doubt.  I even felt a little silly….until I didn’t.

    I came out of that session feeling completely at ease for the first time in my adult life.  It was unexpected, completely uplifting and changed my perspective on ‘energy’.  I suggested the healer practice a few more times.  This was, of course, for her benefit only.  Well, maybe I ‘assertively’ suggested she should practice more and I would obviously be the perfect subject!  I’ll go into more detail in a future post.  To try and do the experience justice in a couple paragraphs doesn’t quite cut it.  Suffice it to say, I am no longer a skeptic.

    If you are enjoying any of my blogs on beginning a spiritual journey, please consider subscribing (It’s free!) or commenting with your suggestions, experiences or information that others may find helpful.  This keeps me motivated to keep the respectful discussions going.

    Kristi will begin her blog soon.  Her’s will be from the perspective of a born practitioner, knowledgeable spiritualist and humble source of learning.  It will nicely compliment my approach as a relatively new (and challenged) seeker of spirituality, balance and inner peace.

    Until next week…

  • What is the difference between Religion and Spirituality?

    ‘Dream of Peace’ – Original Art by Jeannine Midkiff

    'Dream of Peace' by Jeannine Midkiff

    When I’ve heard someone asked what church they attend, I’d sometimes hear “Well, I don’t go to church.  I’m spiritual.”  I thought ‘isn’t that the same thing?’  Well, turns out, not necessarily…

    Disclaimer: In a limited format, there is no way to completely cover all the examples and meanings of spirituality or religious beliefs, so let’s start with a general working definition of each as a general guide:

    Religion: A range of social-cultural systems, including designated behaviors and practices, morals, beliefs, worldviews, texts, sanctified places, prophecies, ethics, or organizations, that generally relate humanity to supernatural, transcendental, and spiritual elements

    Spirituality: Spirituality can be defined generally as an individual’s search for ultimate or sacred meaning, and purpose in life.   Additionally, it can mean to seek out or search for personal growth, religious experience, belief in a supernatural realm or afterlife, or to make sense of one’s own “inner dimension”.

    Let’s start with a key difference that really stands out.  Religion, be it Christianity, Islam, Wicca, or other tend to be collective.  That is, there are cultural elements that drive groups of individuals to come together and share beliefs related to that religion’s core teachings. There are established norms and rules that participants are expected to follow in one’s expression of faith. This can take many forms depending on the religion and the many denominations within that religion. This is quite different than spirituality.

    Spirituality is more about ‘self’.  To be spiritual, one must find purpose in their own existence. It’s less about culture and more about growth and connection with nature and the universe.  It’s also about walking one’s own path, finding balance and meaning as an individual and not with rules as part of a larger group. Being spiritual is not a destination, but a continuing journey. One can be part of an organized religion and be very spiritual, but that usually means accepting the core norms and teachings of the religion while also seeking a higher state of consciousness. However, achieving that higher state may eventually become at odds with the teachings of the religion.

    Religions teach us what to believe, how to worship, and what our rewards are for participation and faith.  Spirituality, being an individual journey, offers much less teaching since it is different for every individual.  The reward is the journey, which is a continuous higher state of awareness of the universe and the individual’s place in it.  The rewards are less defined, less tangible, and defined by the journey of the seeker.

    Many religions have a specific deity they worship, an ultimate creator of all things (monotheism – belief in one god). Some believe their deity guides their lives and the happenings of the world, perhaps as tests (“God has a plan”).  Others believe free will and chance are why things occur the way they do and their deity is an observer, holding humanity accountable for their own actions in the afterlife. A religious but spiritual person many view a part of their journey as understanding the ‘why’ things happen in this context.

    Spiritual people often believe in many deities (polytheism – belief in more than one god) and/or that nature and the universe is connected to all things.  These beliefs existed well before the rise of organized religions and exist today, often referred to as modern Paganism. Loosely defined, Paganism is not belonging to any organized religion.

    Seeking inner peace and tranquility for oneself can come in many forms. Pursuing it through spiritualism, religion, or a combination of both, is meaningful so long as one acknowledges that each path is up to the individual. Respecting each other’s beliefs is essential to achieving inner peace. Judging others requires energy that inhibits one’s own quest for enlightenment. Use your energy wisely.

  • The Benefits of Shadow Work (& what is it?)

    In my last post (Meditation: Where to Begin?), I mentioned that calming the mind can be quite a challenge. It was my greatest challenge and caused me to doubt I’d ever reach a point where I could slow my brain down enough to advance spiritually. Many things can be a factor, such as ADHD, OCD, being extremely busy with lots of current responsibilities, or perhaps being beholden to social media! But another possible reason is the way we ‘see’ ourselves. After all, we’re only as good as our last f@ckup, right?

    Life is full of mistakes, errors in judgment, and often, consequences. You would think that consequences would be the capital that pays the price for the error, but we often put ourselves through a more brutal punishment, our never-ending self-judgment. Some of us spend a lifetime lamenting ‘that thing we did way back when.’ And that self-deprecating will keep us from becoming the centered spiritual beings we desire. This is where Shadow Work comes in.

    Shadow Work forces us to look into the darkest corners of our minds to deal with the things in our past that we try to bury. These may be one or two significant events or many minor events.  They could have severe consequences or be very minor. They could be impulses or desires we never acted on but still plague our thoughts. Nonetheless, they may become incredibly debilitating to our psyche and lead to depression and anxiety.  The bottom line is that once our perception of self-worth takes a dive, without doing some serious Shadow Work, we set ourselves up to plunge deeper into our own personal darkness.

    Shadow Work differs for everyone, but so is the degree of success or failure. There’s not a ‘right way’ to do it.  You must find what works for you. I prefer to take a guided approach, much like meditation. My Shadow Work began in 2022 as my desire to pursue my spiritual awakening grew stronger. My wife did it alone on a beach in Galveston, TX. She read things like the works of Buddha, examined her life with a microscope, and eventually identified the things she had to let go of, either to forgive herself or forgive people/things that had caused her pain. She could move on with a truly spiritual life, finding inner peace and harmonious balance. That wouldn’t work for me, the overthinker who couldn’t even meditate until recently!

    I found The Shadow Work Journal & Workbook by Noah Geller to get started. However, you can use whatever calls to you.  I found the guided workbook portion with consistent journaling goals precisely what I needed.  The questions reminded me of situations, decisions, and hurt I had caused myself (or others) over my lifetime. The journaling portion forced me to address the incidents, how I felt about them, and how they made me think about myself. Now, this was not fun.  However, once I had light shining in every dark corner, I could start to forgive myself and put those chapters to rest.  I finally understood that how someone treated me, the mistakes I made with others, and the poor judgment my young mind exhibited don’t mean a damn thing when seeking harmony and enlightenment. The workbook also asked questions that reminded me of my successes and positive aspects of my life, so it didn’t need to be all doom and gloom.  Balance was needed.

    We need not be defined by our past but by what we do from this moment on. Every day is a new opportunity to become a better version of ourselves. To do so, we must let go of the things that haunt us. 

    The funny thing is, once you achieve balance, it’s significantly more challenging for anything to impact your peace and balance negatively. This is because you RECOGNIZE it for what it is in the moment.  You see those patterns forming in your brain.  This lets you often stop them cold and kick them to the curb. So, besides peace and balance, those who earnestly take on Shadow Work find STRENGTH.

    Good luck, and remember that you are who you become, not who you were.

  • Meditation: Where to Begin?

    I mentioned once being agnostic in my previous entry. At this point, I have proof that spirituality is real, and I have a wife who is a born into/called upon Left Hand Path Witch.  She was first called at 5 years old, but that’s the story for her to tell. But what about me? I wasn’t being called by any deity, no matter how much I wanted it, no matter how much I tried.

    There are many ways to pursue spirituality. Like my wife, some are called toward it, often by specific deities, of which there are many.  Others are gifted with an open third eye and can perceive things beyond our normal perceptions.  Some learn of spirituality and attempt to drive themselves toward the enlightenment it can provide. Me? Let’s just say I appear to fall into the second and/or third categories.  If a deity is calling me, I cannot hear it outright. So, how do I begin to clear my mind so I can listen?

    The first step seems like a no-brainer, but it is for many the hardest.  Just clear your mind.  Easy, right?  Not so much for a lifelong over-thinker. If you think that’s hard, try meditating! I had to come up with a way to slow my mental roll long enough to have a chance at clearing my mind for even a second. The usual meditation techniques were not working.  I even purchased a book on meditation and tried the suggestions, but to no avail.  What eventually started to work for me was guided meditation.

    A friend suggested trying guided meditation using YouTube videos by Shaman Durek. I’ve included a link to some of my favorites below. Durek’s words, tone and pacing generally help keep me mindful. But even though I’ve been meditating successfully for some time, I still have to be vigilant and pull myself back in fairly regularly during a session. Many people will tell you to make time to meditate and stick to it.  I find that if I have significant competing priorities, I have a harder time staying focused during a session.  I meditate when I can, rather than forcing myself to a regular schedule. This ensures I can stay focused and thus get the quality of the experience rather than haphazard quantity. I will however make the time immediately if I’m feeling out of sorts spiritually because feeling negative can bleed into so many other aspects of everyday life. You need to determine what works for you. A fairly disciplined schedule may be precisely what you need.

    If you can blank your mind and meditate anytime (like my wife), great for you! I wrote this to help you get started if you are like me. Just know that you are not alone in your struggle to get started. However, no matter what you read here, the number one step is to simply ‘start’. Now go meditate…

    In future posts, I will discuss two things that aided me in accelerating the relaxing of my mind; Shadow Work & Energy Work. 

    YouTube link to my favorite meditations, both guided and non-guided: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLV5OfQf75zSSqkALODfE956ylyv5v03G7&si=UPp2F-A1-plUKXjD